On a loved one’s birthday, you carefully choose a gift, hoping to bring them joy. But when your own birthday comes around, they either forget or give you something far below your expectations. In such moments, many people think:
“How could they do this to me?”
This reaction stems from a desire to be compensated for the love you gave. When love is reciprocal—based on giving and receiving—there may be moments of happiness, but there are also negative emotions like anxiety and disappointment.
However, when you genuinely wish for someone else’s happiness and success, with no expectation of return, that’s altruistic love. Acts of altruism—like helping someone or sharing with others—trigger the release of dopamine in the brain, bringing feelings of pleasure and joy. In other words, altruistic love brings its own reward: happiness.
When you find satisfaction in giving, you can be happy, regardless of whether you receive anything in return. But the moment you start to measure, compare, or keep score between giving and receiving, happiness slips away.