I lived as a shaman for more than fifty years. It began when a difficult situation arose in my family and I visited a fortune teller. She said my daughter had to receive a spirit, but I volunteered to take her place. Since I firmly believed in the afterlife, I was convinced that faithfully serving ancestral spirits would lead me to heaven. I even saved money for an elaborate ritual to be performed after my death—something that was supposedly necessary for entering heaven. It never felt like a waste, because going to heaven was my greatest wish.
Meanwhile, my daughter began attending the Church of God and tried to teach me the Bible, but I refused to listen. Foolish as it was, I valued ancestral spirits more than God at that time. I treated my daughter harshly, thinking she was speaking nonsense. I would not even give her a proper meal when she visited. Whenever she mentioned church, I would leave the room or threaten to move to the mountains. I even told her not to interfere with my beliefs and banned her from coming home for a while.
Yet my daughter never gave up. Her reason was simple—she wanted to go to heaven with her mother. Slowly, her sincere love began to open my heart. Just as constant dripping wears away stone, God’s words began to seep into my soul. Over time, the message of heaven started to make sense. I realized that the heaven I longed for was not something gained through rituals or payment. It is the gift God grants to those who follow His will. It was free and open to anyone who desired it. When the teachings of the Bible about salvation and the Passover touched my heart, I wondered why I had not listened to my daughter sooner. It took thirty years, but at last I received the truth and became a child of God. Having taken such a long detour, I resolved never to wander again. Every truth I learned afterward moved my heart deeply.
I was also touched by the kindness of the church members. My daughter used to attend a Protestant church but said she felt genuine warmth and love for the first time at the Church of God. It is no wonder—because God the Mother, the source of love, is with the Church of God. I believe the members’ sincerity comes from witnessing and learning Mother’s love.
With all this, it was only natural for me to settle in the Church of God. Even my son, who once opposed me and asked why I suddenly wanted to attend church, eventually stopped resisting when he saw how firm my resolve was. Just as I came to accept the truth, I believe he will, too. My daughter and I continue to pray for him earnestly.
Before knowing the truth, I never had the assurance of going to heaven, no matter how hard I tried, and that uncertainty left me uneasy. But now, whenever I think of how God is with me and how the New Covenant Passover guarantees heaven, my heart is filled with excitement and gratitude. Each time I listen to a sermon, my hope for heaven grows stronger. Now, heaven is the only thing before me. I finally understand what it means to live without regret. I want to walk toward heaven within Heavenly Father and Mother.
My heart is filled with both gratitude and sorrow when I think of my daughter, who visited me for thirty years with her husband, always saying we must go to heaven together. Above all, I give thanks to Father and Mother, who patiently waited for this unworthy child to return even after thirty long years. I pray again and again that They will surely lead me to heaven.