Before I entered high school, I was led to the Church of God by my cousin, and I started attending the Church. My parents opposed my going there, but I liked Zion so much because there was a beautiful unity among brothers and sisters through the word of God.
However, my mind changed when I entered university and my parents approved of my faith. Just as the saints of the early Church relied fully on God and kept their faith firm during hard times but became neglectful of the truth during peaceful times, my mind, which once went towards Zion, gradually started to go towards the world and I became lazy in my life of faith.
After I started a job, I traveled here and there and did everything I wanted to do. I believed it was true freedom and happiness. As if I only had this life, I completely forgot about the hope for heaven and God as well.
After I got married and became a mother of two children, I was faced with an ordeal. The year when the H1N1 flu virus was rampant throughout the country, my children who used to get sick often were hospitalized and my younger child was drifting in and out of consciousness with a high fever. Only then did I think about God.
‘Oh God, please protect this little child’s life You’ve created; please don’t let the flame of her life go out.’
Fortunately, my child recovered her health, and from that time on I sometimes thought about God.
Then one day, my husband said something unexpected, on our way to work.
“It seems that someone exists out there and controls everything in our life.”
I could not deny that the “someone” is God. In fact, when I was staying away from God, I used to dream the same thing—I was attending a worship service while silently sitting on the back row in Zion. Even in the dream, I would say to myself, ‘Why on earth am I here?’ After saying that, I used to wake up from my dream. Like that, God was continuously calling me.
Last spring, when I talked on the phone with my sister-in-law who was living a life of faith in Zion, I came to fully realize how anxiously Mother had been waiting for me.
“Now that you’ve become a mother, you probably understand even just a little bit more about Mother’s heart, don’t you? How heartbroken Mother must have felt over Her lost children!”
The moment I heard her say that, my heart ached so much. I grabbed the phone tightly and shed tears endlessly. ‘How stubbornly have I turned away from Mother?’
I told my husband about what had happened and said I wanted to attend Zion again. Then thankfully, he was willing to follow me there. I was nestled in the embrace of Mother, along with my loving family. Mother’s embrace were as warm as ever.
I was thankful to God for calling me, a prodigal child, and I also felt so guilty about the past when I drifted away from God, so I could not free myself from the thought, ‘Can I really receive the forgiveness of my sins?’ Around that time, I heard that Mother would visit Zion nearby. Since I was a sinner who could not even dare stand before God, I decided to write a letter to Mother and started to write down all my past wrongdoings one by one. While I was writing the letter, I could not stop crying.
‘If I can see Mother even if it is just once!’
It was the cry of my soul from deep inside my heart.
I took courage and went to meet Mother. I saw Her again after 13 years. As I thought that Her appearance was marred because of my sins, I could not even raise my head.
‘Mother, I’m so sorry. Please forgive this sinner for hurting You so much.’
Now I repent of my sins with tears. Without forgetting the grace of Mother who has called this sinful child again, who rebelled against Mother and left Her, I will devote my life to displaying the glory of Elohim.