People in Search of Mothers

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Children’s short story, “Heart” (Italian: “Cuore”), published by an Italian author, Edmondo De Amicis, in the late 19th century, is evaluated as one of the world masterpieces. The beautiful story became the basis of the animation series, “3,000 Leagues in Search of Mother”: A nine-year-old boy Marco, who travelled about 12,000 ㎞ [7,500 miles] from Genoa, Italy, to Argentina in South America in search of his mother who went to work far away, moved many viewers to tears.

It is thanks to the empathy of all time that the novel, which might be regarded as an old classic story, still touches our hearts. Marco is not the only one who needs a mother. All the people of the world, who were born from a mother, search for the home of their hearts, their mothers.

The existence of “mother” is . . .

The person, whom a newly born baby meets for the first time in the world, is their mother. A mother is the very first person whom a baby builds a human relationship with. This relationship is never equal; the system is designed for one side to sacrifice unconditionally.

A mother takes care of her baby all day long. While concentrating on her baby, if they send a signal, the mother figures out what they want and solves the problem.

A mother is the only way for the survival of a baby who has just taken its first step into the world. It’s because babies cannot do anything for themselves except cry and relieve themselves. Since they are in a situation where they have to depend on only their mothers, they feel relaxed when they stay near their mothers; and they feel uneasy if they cannot see them. There is no other scene as peaceful as a baby sleeping snugly in their mother’s arms.

When babies grow up to be independent and become busy with life, they seem to forget the existence of their mothers. However, mothers still remain in their thoughts, different from anything else, even after they had left their mothers’ arms for a long time.

The University of Toronto in Canada and the University of Winchester in the United Kingdom had a joint experiment targeting dozens of men and women in their 30s and 40s. The researchers checked the change in participants’ brains through MRI’s [Magnetic Resonance Imaging] by showing them pictures of their mother, father, celebrities, and so on. The part of the brain, which controls recognition and emotion, showed a strong response as soon as they saw the picture of mothers.

Even though we do not refer to a scientific experiment, we can easily understand, in our daily life, that a mother’s existence is special to men and women of all ages. Just as we see in a Korean commercial, everybody may have experienced, at least once, a puzzling situation where they called out “mommy” without even knowing it.

A relationship which cannot be broken

Even without quoting the words from Aristotle, “A man is a social animal,” a person’s life is connected with others from birth to death since nobody can live alone in the world. Most people want to have a closer and stronger fellowship with others, and they consider the strong fellowship with others as something that is precious and valuable in their lives.

Some psychologists explain this human mentality as a yearning to regain the connection that they had with their mothers, who could read their minds, knew what they wanted and responded immediately when they were babies.

The theory sounds plausible if we think of ordinary mothers who sacrifice themselves for their children all their lives, but there are also some people who say that it doesn’t apply to them. They are the ones whose memories about their mothers are few or unpleasant.

Among the patients who receive psychotherapy, many were raised without receiving proper attention and love when they were young, which left emotional scars on them and caused them to have problems in personal relationships. This is a phenomenon which occurs as society becomes industrialized and working couples increase.

It is fortunate if a person was raised, receiving abundant love from other family members, even without their mother; but if not, the effect of a mother’s absence is huge. Child psychologists say that wanting to be loved is one of the instinctive human desires. So, if this basic desire is not satisfied when they are young, it is highly possible that their mentality stays immature though their body grows up. In other words, a wounded child still lives in their minds.

That’s why it is lifetime bliss for a person to receive overflowing love from his or her mother who is described as love and sacrifice. When a person happens to fail to receive this blessing, he or she might live an unwanted unfortunate life. This is the same with animals.

Harlow, a professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin, isolated a newly-born monkey from its mom and made it stay by itself. Instead, he offered it the best food and environment. He carefully observed how the monkey behaved as it grew up.

The isolated monkey sat awkwardly all day long, or bit itself until it bled. When another monkey came into the cage and tried to make contact with it, it screamed and ran away. When it gave birth to a baby, it could not take good care of it. The monkey which had no warm memory about its mother spent an unhappy time though it ate delicious food in a good cage. The relationship with mother also enormously influenced the life of animals that have a lower perceptual ability than humans.

Seeking for mother’s love

Not all people live unhappy lives just because they did not receive their mother’s love properly when they were young. However, it is hard for them to be completely freed from the dark memory of their childhood. We often hear the news about people who regret after having committed irrevocable errors while living in serious loneliness, being bound by their dark memories.

On the contrary, people, who have a strong will to overcome trauma [psychological damage up until the present time caused by a severe shock in the past] and pioneer a new life actively, engage themselves in healing their mental wounds. They get psychological treatments and fill their emotional emptiness through various social activities or gatherings with others. They make their own efforts, in the present time, in order to seek what can be an alternative to their mothers’ love which they did not receive fully, since they cannot go back to the past and change what already happened.

A curer monkey was put in the place where the isolated monkey, which had no problem-solving ability by itself, was. It is said that a monkey can sense what another monkey feels three months after its birth; so a three-month-old monkey was put in the cage of the isolated monkey.

When the curer monkey approached the isolated monkey, the isolated monkey showed signs of intense anxiety. Noticing the other’s nervousness, the curer monkey went near to the isolated monkey cautiously and groomed its fur.

A few weeks later, the attitude of the isolated monkey toward the curer monkey changed. It gradually showed a positive response, and they groomed each other and played together. The isolated monkey soon became as normal as other monkies.

What brought forth a comfortable daily life to the isolated monkey was not the best food or the best environment, but satisfaction of its desire for attention and love which it did not receive from its mother. Although it wasn’t through its mother, the isolated monkey changed its behavior when its basic desire, which was not fulfilled through its mother, was gratified.

It seems okay to apply the result of the experiment to humans. When we delve into the minds of those who ask for love, they mostly long for love which they did not receive abundantly from their mothers when they were young, though outwardly it would seem that it does not matter who it is that is giving the love.

Mother’s love and Mother that the world is waiting for

According to a survey of over 40,000 voters in 102 countries of the world, which was conducted by the British Council, the word “mother” was chosen as the most beautiful word in English; we can easily understand that the survey was not to evaluate the words themselves. A beautiful and warm feeling toward “mother” is the common sentiment throughout the East and the West.

But the Jerusalem that is above is free, and she is our mother. Gal 4:26

The relationship between a mother and a child, which cannot be broken, does not originate from this earth. In actuality, we were angels who received a special love from Heavenly Jerusalem Mother though we are now living a difficult life after having left Her embrace (Pr 8:22-26; Job 38:4, 7).

Since we received overflowing love in heaven, the life on the earth, where the true love is hard to be found, cannot help but be tough and hard. That’s why we moan with loneliness and emptiness more and more though we enjoy all sorts of material in abundance.

The craze for “healing” these days is part of an effort to fill the hollowness of the human soul. However, the “healing” only gives a temporary comfort, without fulfilling the fundamental human desire. The only thing that can fill the void of the soul to the full is the love of Mother who gave birth to our souls.

Our souls, which are exhausted in this world, have yearned for Mother’s love for a long time. Our souls have remembered, though it may be hazy, the love of Heavenly Mother who took care of our fragile souls, who couldn’t do anything, as the apple of Her eye and granted us Her infinite grace.

Compared with our memory, the memory which Mother keeps is very vivid.

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands . . .” Isa 49:14-16

Heavenly Jerusalem Mother has never forgotten Her children even for a moment. She knows that Her sons and daughters, who were together with Her since She formed them with the breath of life, committed sins, left the heavenly kingdom, and are now shedding tears in suffering and sadness, living human lives.

To wipe their tears, Heavenly Mother Herself has come down to this earth.

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.” Isa 66:13

We have received the long-awaited comfort and love in Heavenly Jerusalem Mother’s arms, and have put a period at the end of the journey of “3,000 Leagues in Search of Mother.” However, there are still many lonely souls who are exhausted and have found no way to be comforted.

Let us preach to people who do not open their mind readily because their memory is dimmer than ours, though they long for Mother’s warm arms more than anyone else: “Heavenly Mother, the eternal resting place that you’ve been looking for, has come!” And let us deliver to them the beautiful heavenly love which we have received from Mother.