Writing has always been my way to understand the world around me, and I have kept many journals over years. I rarely went back to read old entries that I had written, simply because they always proved to be painful reminders of the constant struggles we face on this earth. They also served as a reminder that I hadn’t gotten any closer to finding answers as to why we suffer, even though they were written years ago. But recently after being blessed to be in the truth for one year—all thanks and glory to Father and Mother for the grace—I found myself reading through my old journals late one night.
From one page to the next, each entry seemed to have a common theme of discontentment. Day after day my thoughts circled around the same hardships that I couldn’t quite seem to shake off, until the November 14th entry entitled “God the Mother.” As I read the words on the page, memories of this moment came flooding back to me. It was on that day when my younger brother called me, telling me about the female image of God.
I can still remember his voice on the other line saying, “Let me tell you about God the Mother” and myself accepting and curiously writing down everything he told me about Her. Amongst all the hopeless journal entries crying out for help, the scriptures about Heavenly Mother, who holds the answers to overcoming the hardships on this earth, were beautifully presented in the journal entry written on November 14th of that year. It was on that day when the seed of the word was planted in my heart and the beginning of spiritual transformation seeped through the pages of my journal. My tone changed from hopelessness to eagerness about learning the truth of the Bible, which I had never really studied before. Day by day, Father and Mother were patiently guiding my heart to the truth, as I could so clearly see as I turned each page of my journal with tears in my eyes.
I found the moment of true realization in an entry from December 11th entitled, “Letting the Light In,” proclaiming that Father and Mother are the true God Elohim who will lead me to salvation. After two weeks from the date of this journal entry, I received the truth and became a member of the heavenly family in Zion, where my mother and brother had received the truth earlier.
Words cannot express the gratitude I have for Father and Mother’s grace and mercy on my soul and for guiding me into Their loving arms from this painful world. Reading these journal entries was a beautiful reminder of how blessed I am to have been led into Holy Mount Zion where Father and Mother dwell, and to have my brothers and sisters who help me learn and grow. It was also a reminder to eagerly seek our lost brothers and sisters whose souls are desperately searching for the truth in this world. I never want to lack empathy towards those who are lost just as I once was as we all once were.
Now I no longer fill my journal with meaningless entries but with letters full of thanksgiving to Heavenly Mother. Instead of crying out to any god, I can now cry out to the true God who answers all prayers and guides me to overcome all the hardships. I thank You, Heavenly Father Ahnsahnghong and New Jerusalem Heavenly Mother. I love You!