My wife often uses the gas stove, but every so often she forgets to turn off the gas valve afterward. I mentioned it to her a few times, but the habit didn’t really change. So one day, I wrote a small reminder—“Please check the gas valve after use”—and placed it just below the valve.
The next day, after cooking and eating some ramen, I was resting in bed when my wife called out from the kitchen.
“Honey! Why didn’t you turn off the gas valve?”
I had forgotten too.
Trying to sound casual, I said, “Even monkeys fall from trees sometimes,” but inwardly I couldn’t help but laugh. I felt embarrassed. I had been quick to point out her mistakes, yet so lenient about my own.
In that moment, I realized something important: Instead of nagging her, I needed to see her as a part of myself—to be more patient and understanding.
Months passed. And still, every now and then, she forgot to turn off the gas valve. One time, I found it open and quietly closed it. But the next morning after breakfast, it was open again. I forgot my good resolution and raised my voice: “Can you please remember to turn off the gas valve?”
I was frustrated that such a small habit was so hard for her to change.
But then I thought back to that breakfast she had lovingly prepared. If she’s focusing on cooking a good meal for us, isn’t it natural that she might forget sometimes?
As soon as that gratitude surfaced, my irritation faded just like that.
Maybe that’s what marriage is: Gently covering for each other’s shortcomings with kindness and grace. That is how two people slowly, truly become one.
So from now on, you probably won’t hear, “Can you please turn off the gas valve?” in our home.
If I find it open, I’ll simply close it quietly—and gratefully.