Division of Housework Has an Amazing Power

Cooking, doing the dishes, laundry, cleaning, arranging, recycling, taking out the trash, grocery shopping . . . The housework repeats every day, and it’s not even that noticeable even if you do it, but it’s very obvious if you don’t do it. Although the housework seems simple and trivial, quite a lot of families have conflicts because of it. ‘Why can’t he help me with the house chores?’ ‘How can she ask me for help after I came back from working all day?’ ‘Mom will take care of it’ . . . The problem is not the housework itself, but the difference in understanding among family members.

Sometimes, you don’t feel like doing housework, and they seem like trivial and odd. However, what if the kitchen sink is full of unwashed dishes emitting odor, the refrigerator is empty, and things are everywhere with trash, and you have to wear dirty clothes again because they are not washed? Do you think you can be lively? In such a house, you will get ruined physically and mentally.

The food made with time, devotion, and effort has not only nutrition, but also affection for the family. The family who eats it will be satisfied and moved and get closer to each other by sharing the meal together, and they can communicate well. Doing laundry or cleaning also needs love and sacrifice. The love that is poured indirectly through the housework can help the family be peaceful and restful in mind.

Housework is for every family member

When only one person does all the housework, the rest of the family may be comfortable now, but the side effects occur after. For example, let’s say that the wife does all the housework, and the husband and the children don’t do anything at home. What if the wife has to go somewhere for an unavoidable reason? The rest of the family will have to get a takeout food or skip the meal. And what if the wife is sick? The house will become a mess.

Participating in the housework is not just to divide labor. It is a must thing for all the family members, and it is a way to prove that they are family members. According to the result of many researches, the more the family shares the roles, the more satisfied they get about their lives. Even if a family lives in the same house, they can easily spend time separately by doing computer or watching TV, but if they divide the housework, they naturally have an opportunity to communicate, and they come to recognize they are an integral part of the family.

Moreover, doing the housework is a means to show love for the family and the home. When doing the housework, instead of doing it by force just because you have to, keep in mind that it is a part of life to make yourself and your family to live in a pleasant environment. If you take care of your house with this kind of mind, the housework will no longer feel like labor, but joy.

Effects that housework has for children

“There are more things to clean up after I asked my kids to clean the house,” “They don’t even have enough time to study, so how can I ask them to clean the house?” Many parents think it is better for them to do the housework alone than asking their children to help them. They have many different reasons to think like that, but doing the housework is not something they can learn at school or from books. Therefore, it is good to let them do the housework little by little from childhood. Helping with the housework is not simply helping the parents, but educational.

When a child is in charge of something, they learn responsibility. And while doing what they are in charge of, they come to have confidence that they can do things on their own, which is very effective to help the children have confidence. Not only that, but they can also learn to be organized by tidying up their rooms and figuring out the order of work. They can also have more curiosity, and better acting power, concentration, and positiveness. By doing the housework together, they can learn how to serve their family as well.

When asking your child to help with the housework, you need to ask them to take care of something they are capable of at their age. A two or three-year-old kid can put their toys back in the toy box or books on the bookshelves. Lower grade elementary school kids, who are learning to be independent, can help their moms prepare things in the kitchen or with the laundry such as separating them by color and putting them in the washing machine. Upper grade elementary kids can wash their school slippers by themselves.

What is important for the parents is not only to sacrifice and serve the children unconditionally, but to give them some time to feel the happiness and harmony of the family by helping with the housework, and to teach them how to help each other. However, you shouldn’t put them in charge of something that adults should be responsible for, or make them do the housework without considering the situations and circumstances.

Know-how of sharing the housework

1. Let them be in charge of what they are good at

Instead of distributing the work evenly according to the number of the family members, or according to their genders or traditional duties, try to distribute the work according to what each family member wants. There are different fields that each person is good at and likes. For example, the mom can be in charge of cooking since she is a good cook, and the dad can be in charge of cleaning since he likes to keep the house clean, and the son can be in charge of folding clothes since he is very organized. Be considerate of each other and assign what they are good at first, and share the rest of the work together.

2. The amount of work assigned to each member is not important

Happiness is not only from being fair about the amount of work. A happy family doesn’t care about who does more and who does less housework. Some couples are not satisfied even if they share the work half and half, and some families don’t complain even if one person does more housework. What is important is not who is in charge of what, but their mindset about the housework, and their efforts in doing it together.

3. Be flexible, depending on the situation

Just because you have distributed the housework, you shouldn’t be indifferent to what the other family members are in charge of. Let’s say that your husband is in charge of cleaning the living room floor, but one day he came home late from work. Wouldn’t it be too much to ask him to clean the living room floor just because it’s the fixed rule in the family? In that case, it will be better if someone else cleans the living room floor for him or let him do it the next day. Whatever role you have, and whatever the rules are, first be considerate of each other with love.

4. Don’t criticize anyone even if he does a poor job

One of the reasons the husband or the children don’t like doing housework is that there is no reward for them though they do their best. Of course, they shouldn’t do the housework just to receive a reward, but if you scold them for doing a poor job, they will not want to do it again. No one can be perfect at something they have never done before. Although their work is not perfect, don’t point that out or do it yourself again, but compliment them. A compliment and encouragement are the best rewards.

5. Minimize the amount of work

It will be the best if you don’t make any work, but a home always has something to clean up. However, there is a way to minimize it. When you use an item, if you put it anywhere, it becomes “work,” but if you put it back, it is not work. If you take off your socks and leave them anywhere, it is “work” for whoever puts them away, but if you put them correctly in the laundry basket, it is not work. Also, make it your habit to put trash in the trash can right away.

6. It doesn’t need to be perfect

Unless it’s a model home to show to people, your living space where you spend time every day cannot be perfect. The goal is not to always sweep and mop so that you can live with no dust. What is important is the happiness of the family who is living in it. When your family members are tired and weary, lower the standard of the housework. It is wise to adjust the housework within the range of the family’s health and happiness.

In a happy home, there is one thing that they never forget after finishing the housework. It is to show appreciation. If you want to dispirit them, you can say, “You just did your job, so why do you take credit to yourself?” But if that’s not what you want, say, “You just made my day easier,” “Thanks to you, our family can live a comfortable life,” “You worked a lot today. I will massage you,” and so on. Although it seems nothing much, your compliment will cure their fatigue instantly.