Family Is Not Coincidental, but Inevitable!

Family is a group of people who share genes biologically and have the same or related blood types. Since all cells of the body are provided with nutrition and oxygen through blood, blood is the basis of life. Family shares the blood.

Family relationship is stronger than any other relationships. There is a saying about family cohesion: “Blood is thicker than water.” The love for family members cannot be cut off. It is natural for people separated from their families to make efforts to find them, unless they left their families by their own will.

People say the relationship between parents and children is destined by heaven. Life is a series of choices, but parents, siblings, and children are not a matter of choice. Whether the parents are rich or poor, whether the siblings have similar personalities or not, and whether the children are obedient or not, we are to just accept them and love them. Some say even people who just pass by were meant to meet. Therefore, husband and wife who live together and give birth to a new family member are the greatest relationship following the blood relationship.

Friends or co-workers are people whom we can choose or end the relationship with when our minds change, but family is not like that. Home is where we undergo most conflicts because people of different generations with different personalities live together every day. One Japanese movie director even said, “Family is something you want to throw away when no one is watching.”

Sometimes, people are hurt or dejected by their family; for some people, their family seems like a nuisance and they even want to end the relationship with them. Because of the excessive interference, sometimes people feel like getting out of the bridle called family. However, the further we get from the family, the more we miss them. It is because we can also be healed through our families.

Are families breaking or becoming more diverse?

The traditional family structure, which centers on marriage and blood relationship, is changing rapidly today. There are diverse family types such as single-parent families, stepfamilies, adoptive families, and separated families, which results in ambiguity of the standard of family.

The range that people recognize as family has become smaller. According to a survey done by the Korean Ministry of Gender Equality and Family a few years ago, four out of ten people didn’t recognize their siblings as family, and one out of five didn’t even recognize their parents as family members. Half of the survey participants excluded the spouse’s parents from the family.

More and more people live alone for various reasons. Accordingly, products for one person are made more, and there are even restaurants for dining alone. In some cases, people die alone and their family come to know that far later. This causes agencies that clean up the articles left by the people who died alone to appear.

About this phenomenon, some say families are breaking, and some say we need to acknowledge the diversity of family structures that are changing according to generation. The family structure may change, but family has some kind of meaning for everybody. Also, home is the most important place where we gain strength and enjoy rest for our whole lives. What we shouldn’t forget is the fact that a family should be connected with each other by deep bond and trust, no matter what kind of family structure they are in.

Family needs to take care of each other

No one can survive alone without anyone’s care from the moment he is born. His family feeds him, clothes him, teaches him, and protects him; he grows up within the fence called family. While being cared by the family, he learns how to take care of other people, and later he too becomes one who takes care of someone else.

It is a great blessing that a person has a family where his physical and mental stability can be guaranteed. To a child, family is everything, and the family’s warm love and care have a great influence on his physical, emotional, and social developments. The one who receives enough care from his family until he completely becomes independent has good self-esteem and mental stability.

Family’s care does not simply mean parents’ raising children, but includes everything going on at home and at the workplaces. When the parents get old and sick, the children take care of them; since the children have grown up by receiving care from their family, they are responsible for them as a family member. When one faces some problems, his family protects him; and when one dies, his family does the funeral for him. This is how a human gives and takes constant care from his family from birth to death, without cost.

Someone said, “Family is a social system that always knows where its members are now.” Family can ask each other without hesitation where they are now. Although they are far from each other physically, they always want to know where they are and what they are doing. They always want to check on each other’s safety, and they can run right away wherever their family members are if they are in danger. A family becomes one, taking care of each other.

Family survives when united

In November, 1846, a group of American pioneers, who set out for a new life, were trapped in the Sierra Nevada. Among about 80 members of the party, 15 of them were independent men with no family, and the rest were with their families. They endured cold and hunger for several months, and were rescued in the following March. When the rescuers arrived, only 40 people survived. Among the 15 men without family, only three survived although they were healthy and free, and more than half of the people who had families survived. Some of the survivors were little children and elderly people.

What enabled them to overcome the severe pain was the love of family, not the physical strength. One of the survivors who was 65 years old had a deep wound in his hand, but he was able to make it until the rescue team arrived, thanks to his wife’s care. Anthropologist Donald Grayson who studied this case said, “Family is a certified check for survival.”

In the summer of 1995, a severe heat wave stroke Chicago, U.S. As the hot days of over 40℃ (approx. 100℉) continued, about 700 people died in the heat disaster over a period of one month. In one region, 65 men living alone died, and most of them only stayed inside their houses, being isolated from the outside world. However, there were few victims in South Lawndale, which is the poorest neighborhood in Chicago. It turned out that the residents lived with their families.

In Australia, a dead premature baby came back to life after his mom cuddled him. In the U.S., when premature twin sisters were placed together in the same incubator, the older sister put her arm around her younger sister and hugged her, and the younger sister who was in critical condition was stabilized. What saved the babies who had just become family members was not the latest medical device or medical techniques, but the love of family.

Nothing is impossible when family is united. Someone said, “If you want to survive on the earth, start a family.” Family love and bond help find the will to live even in a severe environment and have a streak of hope in despair.

When disasters such as the September 11 terrorist attacks and Daegu subway tragedy occurred, people who couldn’t get out of the disaster site left their last messages for their families. When death overshadowed them, no one talked about wealth or success. They left messages to their families that they loved them, or expressed their concerns for their remaining families. Steve Jobs who was the CEO of a global company talked about the importance of family instead of worrying about his company at the last moment of his life. Marie Curie who won the Nobel Prize twice and left a great achievement in this world said, “The only happiness in this world is that family are related to each other and become one.”

Family is a group of people who live together whether they like each other or not. When something good happens, they are happy together, and when they have a hard time, they comfort and encourage each other. Just like the song that starts with “We didn’t meet by chance,” it is never a coincidence that family meets together. Maybe family is an inevitable relationship that is built in accordance with God’s plan which humans cannot approach.