I was born in a remote village in Gangwon Province. There were many good things about living in the countryside, but I wished I would have many chances to eat delicious foods that were only sold in downtown.
My favorite days were the national holidays and my birthday, when my uncle visited us with snack gift sets. Knowing how excited I was about special food, my mom prepared delicious food on my birthday every year.
I moved to a city when I entered middle school and lived with my sister, who is two years older than I am, until I got married. My mom felt so bad that she couldn’t take care of me as she let me, her youngest daughter, live away from home at a young age. That’s probably why she continued to cook for me whenever my birthday came, even after I got married. Although I was grown up, I still liked my mom to set table on my birthday.
As the time stole by, I became a mother of two, and experienced something strange. My body felt heavy whenever my daughters’ birthdays came.
‘Was Mom sick like this on my birthday, too?’
It was something I had never thought about before becoming a mom myself. Then I met my mom as my birthday came. She kept wiping tears off her eyes as if she had an eye infection.
“Mom, what’s wrong with your eyes?”
Then she answered with a smile.
“Every year, my eyes are like this around your birthday. Not long after you were born, I once looked outside through a gap on the door to see if someone was outside. The cold wind blew in my eyes at that time. Since then, my eyes hurt and tears come out on your birthday every year. Isn’t it so strange?”
I never knew that before.
While I only waited for my birthday, craving for delicious food, my mom was having a difficult time. It must’ve been so hard to cook with her aching eyes.
Even in the life of faith, I was an immature child. I only enjoyed receiving love from Heavenly Mother, not knowing the pain Mother had to endure to give life to my soul.
Now I fathom Mother’s sacrifice a little more, and give thanks to Her for giving me infinite love, hiding Her pain in a warm smile.