Family Love and the Meaning of Life I’ve Learned in Zion

I thought making a lot of money is all I have to do as the head of a household. I was running a diner at Shenyang in China, where I was born and grew up, but I moved to Shanghai, two hours away by flight, to begin to work as a tour guide to make more money. When my pregnant wife went back to Shenyang to be well taken care of, I had to stay alone. But I had the sense of responsibility more than that of longing.

Four years passed by quickly while staying away from my wife and child, meeting them only during the national holidays. I faced a challenging situation and had to make a choice whether to continue to work there, receiving help from acquaintances, or go to Korea where my parents settled down. After a long consideration, I chose to go to Korea.

I stayed a little while in Suwon, Korea, where my parents lived, and then went to Jeju for work. It’s a beautiful island visited by many foreigners as well as Koreans. I couldn’t be excited about the new work for long, though. Before a week passed after I started working, I heard my mother got a stomach cancer. My heart sank.

I took care of her, going back and forth between Suwon and Jeju, and worked my fingers to the bone. I wanted to prepare surgery expenses and bring my wife and child to Korea to live together as soon as possible. Thankfully, my mother’s surgery was successful, and I could finally live with my family in a cozy house the following year.

Contrary to my expectation that we would just be happy, my wife was often distressed as I wasn’t considerate of her who looked after our home and child in a foreign city without acquaintances. Unknowingly, I had been so used to staying alone; I met my friends and had fun until late at night. I was sorry to my family, but bad habits were stubborn.

My wife endured a tough and lonely time. Ever since following her neighbor to the Church of God, she was nice to me and our son and lived a religious life, which made me think, ‘That’s the way a churchgoer must behave.’ A few months later, I received the blessing to become a child of God, following her. I had thought I should have a religion, and I wanted to repay my wife for showing no sign of dislike of me upsetting her.

For a few years afterwards, however, my personality became twisted as everything that I tried got screwed up. It wasn’t her fault that things went wrong, but I blamed her religion. When she asked me to keep the Passover, I hurt her by going to China with an excuse of finding business opportunities.

It was when I was giving her hard times, traveling in China alone without having a word with her, obsessed with my business items. She called me and asked me a question out of nowhere. “What if you could live only for a year?” I answered that I would surely stay with my family. But then it felt strange. What is family? What is love? What is life? It was the very first time I had ever thought that I could be wrong. I wanted to earn a lot of money and succeed for my family, but in actuality, I didn’t put my family as my top priority. I felt I was chasing after the wind.

Still, nothing seemed to change dramatically even if I returned to Korea right away. I wasn’t making any decisions and time passed. I came to Korea during Chuseok (autumn holiday) and asked her to teach me the Bible. I wanted to find a way in the Bible. The sermon sounded difficult during the worship services, but now that I focused on the word, I could pay attention to it and it spoke to my heart. The meaning of life, the duty of humans, attitude towards life, the principle of the spiritual world, Heaven where I must go with my loving ones, how to get there, and God the Father and God the Mother who have taught all these truths! Everything was testified in the Bible. There was no room for doubt. I felt relieved and bitter at the same time. Although everything needed in life was right in front of me, I had been only hovering over it.

‘I must try living according to the will of God the Creator. Father and Mother must’ve given all these words for everything to go well with Their children. I can put my trust in Them and follow Them!’

I learned the teachings of God, listening sermons every day, and kept worship services according to God’s regulations. Whenever there was a chance to serve Zion, I volunteered willingly. As we greet each other, “God bless you,” I felt God was truly giving me overflowing blessing day after day. I had no idea that depending on somebody could be this reassuring. When I overcame greed, I could laugh more often even with less income. I stopped harmful habits soon. My rough personality and way of speaking calmed and softened. My change was big enough to surprise my cousin who met me after about ten years. When I explained what had happened, he received the blessing of a new life right away.

“… what does the LORD your God ask of you … to observe the LORD’s commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?”Dt 10:12–13

Surely, the word of God was for our own good. Although I experienced that the word is true, there was one thing that was hard for me to practice—preaching! I was moved to see the brothers and sisters devoting themselves to the gospel work, wanting to lead those wandering in the world, like I had been, to Heaven, but it felt too hard for me to actually preach. I couldn’t stay back, doing nothing, though. I followed the members although I couldn’t speak at all. I was afraid of meeting my acquaintances or being asked about things I couldn’t answer.

I thought I should do something about it. Whenever I had a moment to sit, I opened the sermon preaching books and read them again and again. The more I repeated, the surer I felt about the truth. My mind changed at a certain moment.

‘I’m not even committing a crime! I’m preaching the precious word of God! Why am I afraid? Why am I hesitant?’

I tried my best to deliver the word of God as much as I knew. I wasn’t eloquent, but our lost heavenly family members recognized the value of the truth. One day, a member, who couldn’t communicate with a Chinese, called me for help. He received the truth right away after hearing the Good News over the phone for a long time. Whenever I saw a soul repenting before God and being born again, I felt overwhelmed as if seeing a miracle like the Red Sea being divided. Such joy and feeling of being rewarded, which I had never felt with any work in the world, continued every day.

I hadn’t seen how my only son growing up, while staying far away. I was a father who didn’t know what his son wanted or needed, even after staying together. I thought he would grow naturally if he eats during mealtimes and goes to bed when he’s sleepy, but it was not the way a child grows. From the moment of opening his eyes in the morning until he went to bed at night, he needed his mom’s constant love and care in everything. It was not just for a day or two. It was for every single day until he grew up.

Through this, I realized that the teaching of the Bible, ‘You must have love in you,’ means that we must have the heart of Mother. Praying with tears, kneeling, for those who do not listen to the word of God, preaching whether it rains or snows so that they can open their hearts and understand how a soul can be saved, and waiting for them to understand Mother’s heartbreaking sorrows—all these must be the way to practice love, the duty of the heavenly family, and the direction of our life.

I sometimes wonder what I should do if I don’t have many days left in this world. I am glad and thankful that I can follow the way of Mother. If someone asks me about my life later, I would like to say, “I realized a little late, but thanks to that, I could love more devotedly.” I truly want to live such a life.

Father and Mother, thank You for letting me to know what love is, what I give sincere thanks for, and what happiness I must pursue. As Your son, I will devote myself to the holy mission of saving one soul, not to make vain Your sacrifice and grace of waiting for a long time to save me. Please grant this deficient child the power of the Holy Spirit!