Take Off Your Old Self and Put On the New Self

When I look back at the life I lived, I cannot help but cringe. Everyone knew my personality: loud, arrogant, and spoiled. I was set on my plans of world victory and I was going to show it off to everyone I knew. I only wanted things to go my way or there was no way. Who on earth could have pulled me out of myself? Looking back, my past was just dark.

Some years had gone by and I felt like Solomon: “Meaningless! Meaningless! Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” There was even a point in my life where I thought, ‘If I die now, I wouldn’t have to work anymore or be on this earth!’ Three days had gone by and I started to think maybe I should do some sort of Bible study at some sort of church. Perhaps I could have hope if I knew God existed.

Around that time, when someone approached me and told me about the Bride of the Holy Spirit, I was so shocked with a thought that God was reading my thoughts. This was exactly what I had asked for.

When I stepped into Zion, I felt as if the people were already my family. One evening after studying for hours, I was more than happy to be born again as God’s child. Afterwards, I changed slowly by observing the gracious words and actions of Zion members who followed the example of Heavenly Father and Mother. The way I talked and my habits changed a lot. Now if anyone who knew me before the truth saw me, they would not be able to recognize me; even my speech changed. What amazing works and plans Elohim had for me before the creation of the world to change and mold me into the child They wanted me to become!

I studied the words of God really hard, and went to the mission trip to Alaska; there I was given blessings to play the piano for worship service. My younger sister Valerie is an amazing gospel worker. A grave sinner who deserved to die! The more time went by, the more I wanted: more blessings, more fruit, more responsibilities . . .

My heart only looked toward the rewards of heaven. Why can’t I have more? Why aren’t more results produced? My mind wondered and wondered what I could do for myself. I only paid attention to what I could do for myself. Sometimes, I complained to God, “What can’t I have more? Why can’t I bear more fruit?”

Then one day, I looked back at myself to see if I deserved to ask God that bravely. I was just a sinner who came down to the Earth, for I committed grave sins in heaven. Heavenly Father, the King of the whole universe, shed all His blood to give life to His children, not asking for anything in return. Heavenly Mother is still suffering to this day, feeling anxious She cannot go back to Heaven till every one of Her children is found. Did I ever wonder what Father and Mother wanted from me and how I could lighten the heavy burdens that God is bearing? How many times did I pray earnestly with the heart of Mother to find my lost brothers and sisters? I felt so ashamed of myself; I was so selfish that I could not fathom how much Mother’s heart hurt.

I will do the gospel work with only thinking how I can help Father and Mother rather than ask for blessings for myself. I’ll preach more diligently about Father and Mother who came to this earth to save us.

When I look back on my past days before I realized the truth and accepted God, I realize that God has led me and that it was neither my will nor my choice. When I think about the blessings that have happened to me, I get emotional.

Just as God has given me love, I want to love and serve everyone in Zion. I will take off my old self and live a new life with a new mindset until the day we enter the kingdom of heaven. I give all glory and thanks to Heavenly Father and Mother for letting me realize the gospel path that I should walk.