Since I was born a second child, I never imagined that I would have to take on the role of the firstborn child.
However, when I was fifteen years old, my older sister, who was a lot older than I was, got married and I had to take care of my four younger siblings.
Around that time, my family’s financial situation got worse, and I even had to undertake the housework on behalf of my parents who were always at work; as soon as I came back from school, I divided up the house chores among us and hurriedly finished them. I carried my youngest sibling, who was ten years younger than me, on my back all the time. Many teenagers wandered about, but I had no time for that.
Even when I was in my twenties, the situation didn’t really change. I still took care of my siblings and did house chores, and on top of that, I had to support them so that they could go to university and get married. As they grew older, things got a little better, but I still had to make money instead of my elderly parents.
Although I was always busy, strangely enough it felt like something was missing; I wondered why I was born and living this tough life. I thought God would answer my questions.
I already knew that God’s word was good, reading the Bible my friends gave me when I was in school. However, since I didn’t know the deep meaning of the Word, I was always thirsty. I read many religious books and philosophy books to quench my thirst, but nothing helped.
When my curiosity about the origin of the soul reached its peak, I just picked a church near my workplace and went there. I studied the Bible there every evening, wishing to find the reason I live. I had a fun time with the people there and studied the Bible with them, but the empty feeling still remained deep in my heart.
Frustrated, I decided to pray to God early in the morning for three days. I eagerly prayed that God would help me understand His word and become His true child.
On the third day, I went to my older sister’s hair salon and happened to meet a lady whom I had seen a couple of times there before. That day, we got closer to each other as we talked while having our hair done. The next day, I met her after work and we had dinner together, and I found out that she went to the Church of God.
Studying the Bible at the Church of God, I was shocked to learn the truth that I had never heard or seen before. When I confirmed through the Bible that we must keep the Sabbath day, I even got goose bumps; I had been worshiping on Sunday, which was ridiculous in God’s eyes.
The next day was the Sabbath day. I received a new life without any hesitation and became a child of God.
Zion felt like heaven. As I had wished, I studied God’s word to my heart’s content, and I gradually opened my eyes to the truth. The day I learned about the spiritual world, I cried so much. God answered my long-standing question.
‘I see it now! That’s why I’ve been living such a harsh life!’
All the time that I had spent was for meeting God. If I hadn’t lived a hard life, I wouldn’t have sought God.
All human beings sinned in heaven and are living painful lives every day on this earth. In our lifetime, the only meaningful thing would be meeting God. The happiness I felt after realizing the true God was beyond words. As I realized that my spiritual Parents sacrificed Themselves to save me, a sinner, I couldn’t hold back tears at every worship service.
When God’s love touched my heart, I clearly knew what I should do. Since I realized that God came to this earth for me, I thought I should live for God from then on. I wanted to preach with all my heart so that God’s love would be known to as many people as possible.
After moving to the city of Gimpo, I accomplished my spiritual dream little by little. In the new gospel field, I preached to whomever I met, hoping that Heavenly Parents’ love would touch their hearts. And after getting married, I tried my best to lead my whole family to God. Whatever I did in Zion, I regarded it as a blessing, and made every effort to take care of God’s temple. I also shared love with my brothers and sisters as members of the heavenly family. Seeing my efforts, God blessed me with abundant fruits.
Zion overflowed with the heavenly family members. Our church branched out to another region in Gimpo, and I often went to Ganghwa in Incheon with some brothers and sisters who were trying to plow the new field of the gospel.
A few years later, I moved to Ganghwa where a new temple was established as the Gimpo Church branched out again. There were so many chances to receive blessings, and the area was filled with good fruits waiting for God. An elderly couple whom I continuously preached to when I was in Gimpo received God years after I had started preaching to them.
Around the time I first met them, they were very disappointed in the Protestants, which made it harder for them to open their hearts. But they still liked listening to God’s word, and I always showed them Bible verses.
They hesitated to come to God. However, when I visited them before the Passover in the following year after Zion was established in Ganghwa, they were waiting for us, saying that they were ready to receive God then.
“Thanks to Heavenly Father and Mother!”
This was the first words they said after being born as God’s children. At that moment, I keenly felt the love of God who wants to save even one more soul no matter how many years it may take.
When the gospel started in Ganghwa, there were less than forty members. However, through the autumn feasts, we were blessed to enlarge the temple, and everybody’s heart was burning even hotter. I am very happy that I can participate in the gospel work led by God. While working for the gospel, I learned how to love and how to obey, and I was also able to strengthen my faith to always look to God.
There is a piece of paper I always keep in my diary. It has a phrase which I would like to always keep in my heart.
“My first love until the end!”
I read it whenever I have a chance to remind myself of the moment I learned the origin of my soul by meeting Heavenly Father and Mother.
While walking the path of the gospel, sometimes I faced hardship. Saving a soul is easier said than done. Whenever I met a soul who hesitated to follow the truth, my heart ached, and I often felt frustrated when the result was so little though I thought that I put all my heart into preaching.
However, whenever I went through a crisis like that, I was always followed by a blessing just like the moment I met the true God at the end of my arduous youth.
Now I only want to look to God. It is just like how I felt when I took my first step of faith. Whenever I was slow to understand and became impatient, and whenever I had a hard time, I believed what God wanted to remind me of was my “first love.”
When I first met God, I wanted nothing else; I was overjoyed only with the fact that I had met Heavenly Father and Mother. I will never forget my first love and determination to live only according to God’s will, regarding God as everything in my life. I will obey God’s will and keep my first love for my Heavenly Parents until the end.